It is a saying that we will “at least” have 1 person that we will be stupid for…

Why do people put people that do not care about them before themselves?

This is a question that I want you to really think about. Take a look at your personal experiences and relate this question to yourself…

A person does not care about you if they do the following:

Does not care about your well-being or support your dreams

Take your hard earned money for themselves

Allow you to disrespect yourself in front of other people (i.e. exposing yourself)

Call you out of your name  (Verbal Abuse)

Hit you (Physical Abuse)

Send you on an emotional rollercoaster (Emotional Abuse)

Cheat and lie

Kill your self-esteem

and so on…

Take the time to think about your current or past situation and ask  yourself…Why do I put people that do not care about me before me???

Remember….You are the most important person in your life..

Author Info

Latonya Garth

Comments ( 20 )


    The reason I put people before me is beacuse I feel like thats the only way that I can make friends and make them like me I don’t think about whether they care about me or not I Just want them to like me. Like for christmas I needed some shoes really bad and when I had the money I ended up buying my boyfriend some shoes. Don’t get me wrong I love him but i should have put myself first and because I didn’t do that I didn’t have any shoes that I wanted. My mom ended up buying me some boots so it worked out. That is why i put people before me sometimes.

  • Katherine duncan

    why do i people before myself? in my mind i dont beleive that people are more imortant than me i beleive in making people happy even if it makes me unhappy i found myself doing that alot in my life and it started off with my mom then in relationships. With my mom i wanted to be loved like my sisters so i did things that i thought would make my mother treat me the same as my sister’s. In relationships i was very naive believing everything that was told to me because i felt special and thought that i was love not knowing that i was only being used and these are problems that i still struggle with today but i know when i let go and let god help me with my problems in my life i will be just fine…

  • Shayla Blair

    Why do I put people first? thats a good question. Well as of right now I have been puting myself first, but in the past I believe that I was puting other people first so I would not have to focus on myself. Growing up I was told that I was not going to become anything, and that no one would ever love me for me. So I thought that if I took the time to do what ever someone else said it would make them love me, even if they hit me,verbally abuse me, lied to me,no matter what it was it was ok because in the end he always said he was sorry and said that he loved me, and thats what I wanted to hear. My whole life I thought that it was normal for women to be treated like crap. It wasnt until I.M.A.G.I.N.E when I leaned that I deserved better, and that no one has a right to disrespect me. I am now focusing completely on myself and it feels great. I know that I still have a lot more to learn , and that is ok. I know that god has something very special in store for me I just have to stay focused on the success I am destined to have. I have come so far and I am not going to give it up for no one, its all about me now!

  • Jazmine Rowe

    I put people that don’t care about me before myself because I feel that by doing that it’ll make them care about me. It’s like I say to myself, “Okay so and so may learn to care for me the way I care for them if I do such and such, or help them out of this situation or that situation.” I don’t like being disliked or hated by the people that I care about, so I bend over backwards trying to make them happy, when in the end, I know they’re going to continue to treat me the same way they’ve been treating me because that’s the way I allow them to treat me…sometimes when you do things for a long amount of time they become habits that you can’t break no matter how hard you try.

  • Lillian Sharfner

    Why do i put others before me? Good question well i actually don’t know but, i will take a guess why i do. Well growing up my mom was never there for me. I started letting poeple walk all over me becasue i had low-self-esteem to the point i would do what ever made people love me , hang out with me, talk to me, play with me, and just be my friends. I would put others brfore because i didn’t have anybody to talk to , others would put me down say i would never amount to nothing, wont become anything in life, all i know how to do is lay on my back , just bring alot of negativity into my life. Until i found imagine i wasn’t able to express my true feelings about myself . Imagine has helped me realize that i am a beautiful person inside and out no matter what others say or do to me . Imagine has also helped me become a better . not only better but an outstanding ready to learn how to change my choices and to become a young woman . If it wasn’t for Imagine i would still let others run , walk all over me but that came to an end when i joined imagine. I just wanted to say thanks to imagine that i have became a young lady that knows she’s beautiful in all ways she can imagine.

    ITS ALL ABOUT ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Kellie Watters

    I feel that most people put others before themselves because they care more about themselves than the next person. I don’t always put myself before others all the time because I have a heart for people, but there are just certain times and places when you should consider putting yourself first. For example, if it were a life and death situation you must save yourself! lol It also could depend on the person because I will always put my family before myself and I don’t have any friends that I feel are family at the\is moment so only family will always come before me. You also have to think that people will not do for you as you will do for yourself, no one will dust you off when you fall, feed you when you’re hungry nor will they just give you money, and items if it didn’t benefit them in some kind of way in most cases.
    I feel that the right thing to do is to examine the situation and decide what the appropriate way is to handle things. =]

  • I must admit… I have had my moments where I have been in relationships where I was the last person that mattered. What I learned from those type of relationships that if there is no reciprocation then what is the point?
    I don’t think that anyone should be in a relationship where they have to give, give and continue to give without receiving the appropriate love in return. It is not about materalism all the time but begin to think about if that person is reciprocating by speaking life into you, telling you that you are beautiful, feeding you with positive energy as opposed to negative energy, being by your side through the toughest times of your life, praying for you even when you can’t pray for yourself and allowing you to be the person that God created you to be. Some people express their appreication differently in relationships. Some people may give affection, where others may buy you things. I personally love when life is spoken to me. When I am fed mentally and spiritually by someone, I do not mind giving whatever I can to make sure that person is happy because I know that the relationship is healthy and genuine and anything that I give through love will be given back to me in a positive way. Always remember that you are the most important person in your life! Therefore, that person that you “put” before yourself should be doing the same for you!!

  • Why i do put people before me? Good question. The reason i put people before me is because i care a little to much about how the person feels.and not about my own feelings.I think its because i am very insecure and i try to make eveyone happy but myself hoping they would do the same.i can make eveyone smile and have a gooday.But when it comes to me people want to be rude and disrespectful.All my 23yrs of life i been nothing but nice to people.But i guess they take my kindness for weakness.thinking they can treat me any kind of way just take complete advanage of me and think thats its ok. Well its not because i am not weak what so ever i just have a quiet strength. sometimes the best way to be is to be is to be quiet. But stand i do stand up for myself when i have to.because i am not a pushover.and never will be . love always april.

  • Angel Tramble

    Honestly, The reason why I put people before me is because sometimes i really dnt think that I matter. There comes a time in your life that when you have been talked about so bad and everybody has been put before you in everything. You begin to think that you dnt even matter. You also become use to everybody being put before you. In the past there has been certain situations when I dnt think about mysellf at all before putting someone before me. I use to put anybody and everybody before i even begin to think about myself. I felt like a nobody. In some situations you really can get hurt. And yes I had to learn the hard way. After being hurt so many time I begin to notice that i was being used and stepped over. People stopped caring about how I felt and just took advantage. I had nobody on my side so i couldnt win for losing. Today it has gotten a little better. Im still struggling with it but with the help of my mentors they will help me realize that I CAN overome! I WILL overcome! Because I AM somebody!

  • Ms. Busby

    People usually put other’s first because eiher consciously or unconsciously, they believe that ultimately some good or benefit will come out of it. They do it with an expectancy of a future reward. The future reward can be many things: love, frienship, a future in the company – but ultimately it tends to come down to a fear of rejection and too much desire for acceptance. The same is true when people put others first because of an unnecessary obligation they put on themselves and the feelings of guilt they will have if they don’t put others first. In this instance, the reward is the avoidance of those negative, self-inflicted thoughts.

    I can talk about this because I’ve been there. When I really realized my errors, I went through a very selfish phase. For that reason, I also think it’s important to note that while we shouldn’t always put others first, sometimes it is acceptable and perhaps even advisable. Recognizing and anticipating others needs is a way of showing appreciation or providing reassurance, which everyone enjoys (and maybe even needs) from time to time.
    At the same time, we need to have a healthy dose of selfishness when it comes to dealing with others.

    As it is commonly known, if you don’t put yourself first, instead of others, at some point (when your money runs out, when you’re no longer new and intriguing/interesting, when your loving doesn’t “do it” for them like it used to, etc.) you will be no good for anyone else either. At which point, if you’ve been doing for others out of obligation or a hope for a future reward, your worst fears are confirmed; you’re neglected, ignored. . . rejected. The very feeling you were trying to avoid in the first place.

    So ask yourself, “Is it worth it? Does the good outweigh the bad? Is my desire to give sincere?” If not – then reconsider and reposition. Remember, “no matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, it’s never too late to turn around.”

    • Ms. Busby,

      That is a very true statement. I commend you for your response.

  • The reason I put people befor me because I really like that person and ry to be helpful thinking if I put that person before me one day they can do the same for me.But always and for ever will my angel daniya which is my world my daugher come before me because she is suppose to the day she came here I knew then that she would be the only person that I would put before me I used to put her dad before me but I woke and and realized that he dont do the same for me so why should I do all this extra things for him.
    Like my grandmother I put her before me because she raised me and she was my heart and needed help so i realized if your going to put someone before you make sure you have a valid reason. I love my baby then me and then my family and my imagne sisters and imagne mom Ms. Garth.

  • i belive i put others before me because they say when you do nice things nice things will happen to you. Kinda like mrs.garth said “do you belive in karma” well thats basically how i feel i believe the lord is watching me put in effort to help others. i belive he will lead me to help me become a better person. i do realize doing all of that sometimes gets me unfocused about me.
    It turns into no sleep no time for me. Sometimes i need to stop and take a breath because i do know i do alot for people. i guess i need to stop trying to take on the world because without realizing that i dont realize myself. And in the end its me myself and i. mrs.garth thank you for your time..

  • Alexandria Tucker

    I used to put people before who didnt care enough about me to even try to uplift me because i was young and felt as though my mom and dad really werent there for me enough so i needed someone to cling to who i felt loved me. I put him before i put myself and sometimes i put him before my family because he put into my mind that my famiy (and ecspecially my mother) were trying to brake us apart and were trying to get into buisness that wasnt theres so being naive and needing some type of guidence good or bad i believed it, in believing it, I would lash out at my family members everyday and isolate myself with just me and him.
    I feel as though we do that trying to either get something in return or to keep a hold on some type of attention or “love” that we feel we are not receiving subconsciously. Even though the person may dog you and bring you down everyday and night even though its negative attention its still attention.

    Me learning from that situation, as of today no other human being comes before me other then the family members who keep me uplifted and dont take me down. Now i dont put other people before me your either on my level or your needs come after mine, i may be kind and do for others but its to help or thank them or even because i love them but never to put them before me. I feel like you can start worrying about other people when your done worrying about yourself, and even then make sure the people your thinking about are thinking about you too, because if they dont care you shouldnt either.

  • Keia


    Well my first topic I’m going to talk about is why we put guys as far as us being in relationships why do we put guys before ourselves. I think we do it as a source of comfort because sometime we don’t find it in our self we tend to look somewhere else. Like some males can talk a girl into doing anything for them, as long as they tell them what they want to here and give them a little attention. We put people first in order to please them. I think were afraid to let them down or disappoint them.

    Sometime people will take advantage of the fact you put them before you. Its sometimes can just be a sacrifice for that person. You may feel like you owe them something. I think that some people believe if they keep doing this thing for that one person or if they keep caring for that one person then it would make them like them more. That’s why I think I put people before me.

  • Eb J.

    The concept of putting oneself first (or not to) is something that I believe must be determined on a case-by-case basis. There was a point in my life where it was “all about I”; my interests, my desires, my goals, etc. and if someone didn’t agree or allow me to be in full control, I would dismiss them without question. I thank God for being delivered. While I still have personal ambitions and make it PRIORITY to keep them just that (a priority), pursuing them until they are reality, I have learned as I’ve grown into adulthood and in/with God that SELFLESSness is a MUST. To be a blessing to others has to be my focus, as a Christian. God blesses us so that we can bless others.
    As far as relationships, there is a thing as being naive and quite frankly “dumb”. Not touching on the intelligence of a person at all, but to put yourself is a situation where you are being abused (in any form) and are accepting of it, even confusing it with an expression of love, one must evaluate their level of self love and self esteem. We must learn that it is our right & our duty to demand respect. The first (and simplest) way to demand respect is to first respect ourselves. Others can only treat us the way that we allow them to treat us. Unrequited love is not the type of love that we should embrace nor grasp firm to. There should be positive reciprocation in all relationships. People speak regularly about 50/50 love and that is NOT enough. We are whole beings and while we must stand firm, maintaining ourselves and our individuality, both parties should be giving themselves fully (100/100), making the commitment for a fruitful relationship for all involved and this crosses all relationship types. And in those instances where people do/have hurt us, we must get to a point where we say enough is enough and let it GO…. without retaliation. Romans 12:14 says “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them”…Though sometimes you would love for one to feel the pain they’ve inflicted on you, it is a strong woman (man) to walk away from hurt, forgive, sincerely be done, move on fully and still speak life and love into that person’s life…. Personal growth, maturation, and the blessings of God will be a much greater reward than any temporary fix from vengeance…in a sense, I would say that is being “Selfishly selfless”. 🙂

  • Felicia Marlin

    why do i put people before myself? good question because i honestly have been in one relationship where i have put someone before myself, and thats because that was the way i felt that i could keep him around, he made me feel that if i put myself before him i would lose him, and i was so comfortable with him and how he treated me i felt it was ok and it was the way to get treated. also i feel i did because when i was younger i would put my “friends” before myself to make sure they were happy even if it meant me being unhappy. I would do any and everything to keep them. But now i realize there is NO ONE LIKE ME and NEVER put ANYONE before yourself except JESUS CRIST. because in the end he’s going to be the only one to lift you up and keep your faith and self-worth high.. LOVE ALWAYS

  • Brianna Stephen

    WHY DO I PUT OTHERS BEFORE MYSELF? Honestly, I put others before myself becausei thought that it was apart of me,I felt that I am that person that god has bless as a person that is very caring about others.Of course, at times I feel that I am not appreciated,but it’s just out of generosity. I also know that even though I may not be appreciated I know that GOD is happy of me,and that I will be blessed.I was raised as not being rude to others,when a person ask you give.I know I am a very kindful person that loves to give.I also like to keep people happy.Now,it has been a breaking point for me.I feel that I have been there for others all my young adult life to the point that it’s starting to stress me out.I have been done wrong by so many people (including my mom) that i have helped out,and it have hurt my feelings.And I am the type of person that don’t ask you for nothing. My life is full of people that count on me,to the point i feel that i walk around like if i have a chain connected to the world as i walk.But now I am apart of Imagine and it is all about me,I feel that Imagine is my way of giving back to me,since that’s all I can count on.I feel Imagine is my blessing.Thank You.

  • Lationa

    sometimes i put other people before me because sometimes you love that person and you just want to do something for them that will help them. i had a habit of always putting people before myself when i was younger because i didnt want to hurt, disappoint or make them anger and other times it was just because i liked to help other people… And now i have it under control a little bit better today in my life…

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